You Can Never Find Time For Anything. If You Want Time, You Must Make It.

These words really shook my senses. I started thinking of what my should-make-time to-do list are, I came up with five:

1. …read books again. I’ve always been fascinated with literature. I love stories that are compelling and could challenge my brain cells to function. I miss learning new words and adding them to my vocabulary. It seems that I’m going to have extra minutes soon. I can't wait!

2. …watch sensible/worthy films religiously (again!). Before, I used to pop a good DVD whenever I get the chance. Now that I haven’t for the longest time, my must-see list is getting longer. I remember the days when I’m able to see 3 movies in one sitting. Then do my own ‘critic’ afterwards. Like my passion for books, films keep my mind active.

3. …travel. On our humble beginnings, the mister and I spend time on weekends only. We are almost 2-hr drive apart so whenever we meet up we make it a point to go somewhere we’ve never been; being the adventurous couple that we are. It doesn’t require it to be an extravagant roadtrip; just driving side-by-side and enjoying each other company. Perhaps we could squeeze in little trips once in a while since my situation is limited.

4. …catch up with my friends and family. One of the essentials that most people fail to realize is making time for loved ones. We know that they’re just there but isn’t it more thoughtful to be regularly updated with how they’ve been? I will always remind myself of this task because I don’t want to be like others who neglect amazing relationships and regret in the end.

5. …(the hardest but the most crucial of all) be the wife that the mister ever needs and be the mommy that my little one should/must have when he/she comes out seven and a half months from now. Why I made this the top priority is because the transformation would not happen if I don’t will it to. I could slack in my own selfish world, not adjusting to my present condition; I know that the mister would love me no matter what. But I am aware since we got married that I now have the responsibility to be a partner, included in this is the openness to be childbearing. I maybe experiencing being a wife -- cooking for us, organizing the house, budgeting our resources etc and I want to excel more in this role; but to be a mother (except for the morning sickness that happens to attack even on noon and night!, back pains, and ravenous appetite) I don’t have any particular hands-on on record. I admit I’m not 100% ready until I’m there in that exact situation. For now, it’s enough that I have the conscious decision to make time for it.

Choosing My Battles... Wisely!

Sometimes I fight until the end but there are those instances that I know I just have to surrender for me to win my peace. Some aren’t worth the time so why bother; some are too shallow to even ponder about. I think that in my 26 years of existence I’m already aware which wars are deserving of my efforts. I barely sweat on unavoidable complexities, petty qualms, and even transitory relationships. All because I already learned that no matter hard I drive myself, in the end I just have to let go and let God.

Everything is different now that I’m up against the greatest challenge in my life (to date!). I catch myself as my own nemesis at certain moments. The plans I’m more than determined to break and soon to create to fulfill my mission. Oh the things I gave up and I’m so willing to give up for its goodness sake.

Six weeks and growing.

Our Brightest Blazes Of Gladness Are Commonly Kindled By Unexpected Sparks

Though I love being spontaneous every so often, I prefer to be a planner. I like it when events are organized; it makes everything a little less cluttered. And since I value time so much and I hate wasting minutes, I see to it that I carry out every detail to the fullest.

Somebody once asked me, what if things didn’t happen the way I hoped it to unfold? Would I be disappointed? Well, I guess so. That’s just normal initial reaction, right? But no matter how disheartening something might seem to be in the beginning, at the end of the day I’d realize that it was given because it is what’s due for me. It is God’s way of reminding me that He’s the one in control and I need not doubt His will.

More importantly, when I know that what occurred was indeed a very special blessing. I just believe it in my heart that not even the greatest plan I have earlier is as perfect as this.

“Wag mong ipilit ang sarili mo sa mga taong ayaw sayo, isda lang ang isinisiksik sa masikip na lata.”

It’s my mantra towards people who don’t really appreciate my value in their lives or those who take me as their last resort. (Currently teaching the mister this outlook. See I am also guilty of being bad at keeping in touch but I don’t intentionally neglect friends, EVER. It’s hard but I make sure to find time for them.) Some think that they can use friendship as a safety net. The only salvation they have whenever they feel alone. It is in a way; it’s just that they fail to realize that like any other relationships, it requires maintenance and flourishing. It isn’t necessary to be always together or do the same hobbies or have the same interests -- all that’s required is constant consciousness that one treats the other with special care, not just somebody who’s going to be there waiting in one corner when one’s world turns crappy. Hey, that other one wants to celebrate your victories too. C’mon, how much time would it cost for a single call or text message of "hello / how are you"?

I’ve said it before; I’d keep on saying it again and again. Pag ayaw, wag.