Living by St. Teresa of Avila's Words

"Let nothing disturb you.
Let nothing make you afraid.
All things are passing.
God alone never changes.
Patience gains all things.
If you have God you will want for nothing.
God alone suffices."

Lately, some situations just pushed us to feel a little anxious. It’s normal to fear, I know. Especially that we have Elysse now, Vince and I have to be more concern. I just want to really be on Vince's side whenever he's down too. Perhaps we have to remind ourselves often that we have the Lord in our family life; that is enough to assure us that everything will be fine.

On Luke 6:38

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

I should remind myself of this bible verse everytime I feel overwhelmed with life. Even if things are hard sometimes; even if 24 hours in a day aren't enough; even if circumstances don't always agree with us, I believe that we've been blessed with so much. He has His plans and I just have to keep my incessant faith in Him that everything will happen in His own perfect time.

On Family Vacations

Vince and I love to travel and this is probably one of the qualities that made us clicked in the beginning. When I got pregnant, we thought that having a child would limit our capacity to trot somewhere. We even went to Seattle last year while I was on my 6th month with the thinking that it’s our last hurrah to this passion of ours.

But then on my birthday we went to Hawaii. We planned this long before Elysse was out. There’s this anxiety though that she might have a hard time travelling with us. We were wrong! My little jetsetter behaved perfectly during our roundtrip plane rides. She didn’t mind the pressure whatsoever since that was our main concern.

It’s just that going on vacation with a child is different. We researched places and dined at restaurants that are kid-friendly; we made sure that our activities would suit her; in short, she’s first in our priority. Not to mention all the stuff we needed to do for her in between (e.g. change diapers, feed her, be sensitive when she’s tired already, etc.).

I realized it’s not just Vince and I anymore. Those times when we could be as spontaneous as we can are over, for now at least. But what excites me is that we have more room to make new memories now. I’d love that someday Elysse would see our vacation pictures and be happy that we tugged her along with us. It would make us feel fulfilled as parents that she’d have a wonderful collection of family adventures.

So without any hesitations, we planned the next. Yay! Can’t wait!

When Separation Anxiety Attacks

My maternity leave’s up and I came back to work last Monday. It never occurred to me that it’d be such a fuss since I worked out a schedule with my boss. Plus the fact that it was my choice because I’ve been working since I graduated college and having a baby won’t be a problem in pursuing my personal growth. I didn’t know why I felt what I felt last Sunday night while I was organizing my office stuff. I just experienced this sudden feeling of sadness. What made it weirder was I actually cried to Vince. Yearning for my daughter and our routine for the past two months went to pass my thoughts, Silly, I know because I’m only working with less hours now but I can’t explain why I began to think that I’d be missing out on her. Oh, motherhood – so wonderful, yet so complex.

On Being A Mommy!

To start off, January 6 at 3am Vince drove to the hospital because I had these painful contractions. I knew it was "labor" but I didn't expect that I'm almost 7cm dilated when we checked in. Everybody thought I'd be done by noon but the little miss was so comfy inside that she came out around 5pm. Talk about 14hours of labor, eh? I had epidural so it's not that dramatic. Though we were told that if she was distressed, they'd advice a C-section. Thank God, I delivered her normally. Most people we know said she resembles me much. From her almond eyes to her small curvy lips, no doubt she's mine. She has Vince's bedimpled smile, though but frankly speaking, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. The feeling that we shared when we first saw her was indescribable!

It has been more than a month since I first laid my eyes on my Elysse, and time flies indeed! She makes me fall in love with her more everyda and it seems like she always have something to teach about motherhood. (I don't even know what to write first!) Her first three days were the most stressful. Vince and I were disappointed and frustrated (not to mention, tired!) because we cannot stop her from crying. Well, what could you expect from first-time parents, right? But like what my mama said, everything will get easier. Sure enough, Elysse behaves amazingly now. She has her deep voice when she screams, which we can only hear when she's hungry or when her diaper is soiled. Good thing, Vince researches constantly on newborns.

Parenthood is a BIG challenge. We're just very lucky that my family is here to help us. Less "we" time, sleep loss, disorentation, and failed expectations but honestly, it's very rewarding. To see our baby girl's smile, to put her to sleep successfully, to smell her... ahhh it's all intoxicating.

We're still learning and we'll learn, for sure. For now, we'll just enjoy our new adventure!